Accept your life and move on

We compare ourselves to others all the time. Sometimes you might find yourself thinking its not fair that things seem so easy for others and start to get angry/frustrated/down because certain things seem harder for you than they appear for others. Besides appreciating that everyone had their issues, it's important to reach a state of acceptance of the life you have been given. Then to pick yourself up and declare that you have a choice to change things. It might be tougher in that one area you want to change, but you can do it and it's so... Worth the effort. www.happylife.net.au

What's your roadblock?

If you're not seeing yourself getting closer to what you desire, it's likely you don't really have faith in yourself that you can achieve it or sustain it. Often when you have wanted something for a long time - the state of uncertainty and desire is what you know and feel comfortable with.

In order to avoid self sabotage it's important to live in the moment and ignore the outcome because the outcome is the unknown. And the unknown will ALWAYS be scarier than the present state - even if you're unhappy with where you are now.

Trust that you're taking the right steps. Believe you can do it. There is no blueprint that states one person will succeed over another. If there was, every wealthy child with a great family would be set for life.

YOU are the creator of your destiny.

http://www.happylife.net.au/

Change your focus this christmas

At Christmas is easy to focus on what's missing in your life - people that are no longer with you, opportunities that you've missed, or dreams that you haven't yet achieved. However, there is another story which is just as valid. The story of all the things you have achieved over the past year and all the people who have come into your life and have remained in your life as well - particularly those that love and support you unconditionally. It's easy to think... "that's not enough", because your focus is often future or past orientated. But don't discount these great things in your life.

How many people are you buying gifts for this holiday season? Why are you buying them gifts? What do they mean to you and how have they shown you how much you mean to them over the years?

They say that those who are given a disability in this life are the fortunate ones because they have the gift of love of life. They appreciate a lot more than others and are even said to be more enlightened spiritually as a result of this gift.

Take the opportunity this Christmas to put your desires in perspective. YES .... they may enhance parts of your life, but if you look closely you will see you have many wonderful things in your life RIGHT NOW that you might just be neglecting.

How do you achieve something you've never experienced

This is the biggest challenge for everyone? It's easy to say you want something really badly, but much easier to self sabotage when you can't see it coming quick enough. Self sabotage also happens when you start making progress towards a goal and see small results. The main reason for self sabotage is that the goal is often something that is unknown and therefore has the potential to let you down. Weight loss is a perfect example of this. Let's say you decide to go on a diet to lose 10 kilos. You feel really motivated. You start exercising and eating really healthy foods. Then you look in the mirror and see you're starting to look good. The subconscious mind then sets into protection mode questioning what this means. What if you lose the weight but can't keep it off? How hard is it going to be to lose the weight - how much more exercise do you have to do to get there? Why should you have to go through so much pain to achieve this - is it really worth it?

Normally, people give in to this line of questioning and end up going back to bad habits. The way to avoid this is to be very clear about your goals and then focus on your plan. Then tell yourself that you're enjoying your plan and FORGET the outcome. Let's go with the weight loss analogy again. So you decide to lose 10 kilos by sticking to a balanced diet and starting to walk 10 minutes a day and build it up (as noted in the Refresh Your Life program). You get up one day and people at work start commenting on how great you look. You start to think "hey I can relax a little now". So you go to morning tea and look at all the chocolate cake. Normally you'd think, "I look good, I can afford to eat the cake". But this time say to yourself "I've got a great plan which I'm enjoying. It's not about weight loss, it's about sticking to my plan". Then you'll stop thinking about the DIET and start thinking about living a new healthy life - sticking to your new plan

What makes a worthy person?

Positive energy!

We assume that if we have better material possessions (house, car, jewellery, boat) that we will have better friends.

We assume if we are really attractive we will have better relationships.

We assume if we send our kids to better schools we will have better contacts.

However, all these things are very short lived when you use them as a means to gain happiness. By being your positive, happy, relaxed and healthy self, people will want to be your friend - regardless. You will attract and sustain long lasting – positive/healthy relationships and your contacts will want to help you when you need it most.

Feeling insecure?

Insecurity is often associated with low self esteem. When you feel unsure about yourself you can spend a lot of time double guessing whether you said the right thing to someone, whether you indirectly upset someone, or whether or not somelike likes/diskiles you.

Many of your self doubts can be based on interpretations of behaviour, rather than on actual facts. For instance, many women spend a long time asking their partners "are you OK?" simply because the partner doesn't feel like talking, isn't smiling at that moment in time, or is just too tired to pay as much attention as usual.

It's really easy to assume someone is upset with you when you read into facial and body expressions - particularly when you're feeling insecure about yourself. The easiest way to get around this is to ASK questions. Seek reassurance in a kind tone - without it seeming like an interrogation. For example, there is a difference between saying "You seem a bit quiet tonight, are you tired" and "what's wrong with you, am I boring you".

Ask questions to open communication and keep those insecure emotions in check. 

Self esteem and past pain

It can be very difficult to let go of past pain when you’ve suffered rejection. This is a big one for many people, particularly when it is associated with a bad break up or rejection from within ones own family. 

For instance, many adults find that once they’re parents remarry they no longer want to be a part of their children’s lives. This rejection is no easier simply because it comes in adulthood. In one episode of the show Frasier the character of Roz becomes very distraught as a result of her father remarrying and cutting her off.

It’s never easy to deal with this rejection. Sometime we just have to learn to accept that everyone lives in their own world of experience and being the rejected person does NOT mean there is something wrong with you – or that you’re not worthy of that person’s love. It simply means that the person does not have the capacity to be strong enough to maintain the close relationship or at least verbally explain why he/she is no longer able to be close to you. Visit www.happylife.net.au for more insights into happiness.