For instance, when you say "no" to someone who asks you to do a favour and you don't hear from them for a while. Your mind starts to panic and you start to berate yourself for saying "no". You assume that this person hates you now and this leads to you thinking you're a bad person. You don't calm down until you hear from the person and find out that everything is OK. All the anxiety in this situation is 'self-driven'. The anxiety is driven from a belief that if you say "no' to people they won't like you any more and as a result you conclude that you 'must' be a bad person.
The first step in combating this unhelpful thinking style is to start to pay attention to all the times in your day when your mind starts racing to fill in the gaps.
- Do you assume something is wrong with you, if people look at you a certain way?
- Do you worry about what you're going to wear, just case people see a potential flaw in your body?
- Do you avoid people who you think might ask a favour of you, out of fear of saying "no"?
Most people are worrying too much about their own issues to focus on yours, so start to believe this and put a stop to negative thinking. Tell yourself you're not going to engage in this type of thinking any more.
It will take time, because it's a long ingrained bad habits. However, the more you practice the better you'll become and the happier you will be!
