Feeling insecure?

Insecurity is often associated with low self esteem. When you feel unsure about yourself you can spend a lot of time double guessing whether you said the right thing to someone, whether you indirectly upset someone, or whether or not somelike likes/diskiles you.

Many of your self doubts can be based on interpretations of behaviour, rather than on actual facts. For instance, many women spend a long time asking their partners "are you OK?" simply because the partner doesn't feel like talking, isn't smiling at that moment in time, or is just too tired to pay as much attention as usual.

It's really easy to assume someone is upset with you when you read into facial and body expressions - particularly when you're feeling insecure about yourself. The easiest way to get around this is to ASK questions. Seek reassurance in a kind tone - without it seeming like an interrogation. For example, there is a difference between saying "You seem a bit quiet tonight, are you tired" and "what's wrong with you, am I boring you".

Ask questions to open communication and keep those insecure emotions in check. 

Self esteem and past pain

It can be very difficult to let go of past pain when you’ve suffered rejection. This is a big one for many people, particularly when it is associated with a bad break up or rejection from within ones own family. 

For instance, many adults find that once they’re parents remarry they no longer want to be a part of their children’s lives. This rejection is no easier simply because it comes in adulthood. In one episode of the show Frasier the character of Roz becomes very distraught as a result of her father remarrying and cutting her off.

It’s never easy to deal with this rejection. Sometime we just have to learn to accept that everyone lives in their own world of experience and being the rejected person does NOT mean there is something wrong with you – or that you’re not worthy of that person’s love. It simply means that the person does not have the capacity to be strong enough to maintain the close relationship or at least verbally explain why he/she is no longer able to be close to you. Visit www.happylife.net.au for more insights into happiness.