Getting off the treadmill of live - in relationships

One of the things that MANY people forget to do in their intimate and social relationships is to have fun. Often we associate certain friends with talking about our problem, our partners with talking about bills & chores and our family with talking about dramas. As a result, we can easily lose touch of the importance of connections with people we really care about. Also, these people can begin to associate you with being stressed and the negative things you are discussing, rather than having a balanced perspective of who you are as a person.

Of course, in all relationships we need time to be able to discuss things that are going on in our lives - even if it's not much fun at the time. However, it's really important to ensure there is a balance. This means making sure the positive experiences you have with the people you care about outweight the negative experiences. This is particularly true of couples. If you're in a relationship where you are living with your partner, think about your interactions when you meet at home after work. Do you take time to be affectionate and warm towards each other, or does one person tend to get straight into discussions about the stressors of the day, or worries about personal issues?

These little interactions throughout a day are the foundations of good communication and without them often hidden meanings are drawn about behaviour. For instance, if you come home from work and do not acknowledge your partner and simply go straight to talk to your children, your partner may begin to think you are not as excited to see him/her as you are to see the kids. However, a 2 second kiss or hug and THEN embracing the kids will give a totally different message.

It's interesting how we often simply assume those close to us know how we feel about them. We tend to neglect making a special effort (on a day to day basis) with friends and loved ones who we think should just know how we feel and thus put more effort into relationships that we think need more work. However, this behaviour does not encourage those who have been good to us and those who we often care most deeply for.

So take time to be mindful of your behaviour and bring back into your life the little things that bring you close to those you love most.