Do you procrastinate out of fear of failure?

One of the most common reasons people procrastinate is because they fear if they try and do not succeed at achieving a desire, it means they either will never achieve it or they are inherently a failure as a person. As a result of such beliefs they are motivated to want a particular desire, but appear from the outside to be unmotivated to want to work to achieve it.

Getting into shape is a great example of this. Outsiders often assume that overweight (& unhappy) individuals are just lazy. However, it's much more complicated than that. Often when you are unhappy with your weight, you can convince yourself that it's going to be too hard to maintain it (eg thinking "what if I lose all this weight & then can't sustain the weightloss"?). The fear of failure thus results in overeating in an attempt to soothe negative feelings in the present moment when feeling like a failure, rather than engaging in actions to try to change the current circumstance.

The same analogy can be used for work. So often people will settle for jobs that do not fulfill them because they fear the potential failure that may befall if they step outside of their comfort zone (eg  thinking "what if I go for that job & don't get it?; "what if I audition for that show and don't get the part?"; "what if I put my hand up for that promotion and don't get it?"). These fears can easily result in remaining safely in a place where one can feel unfulfilled & just wish and pine over a future that is within thier grasp, but they are too afraid to try for.

In all these scenarios people are focussing on the outcome - the job; the weight loss; the promotion - rather than focussing on what's most important - being happy now on the present! The focus needs to be in the here and now because No matter how hard we try, we are never 100% in control of our outcome - that's what makes life so interesting.

The real key missing ingredient though is self belief. Before you attemp to achieve any new goal, you must increase your self belief. You must trust that you are the  best. You must also have high resilience because the road to achieving your desires is often met with bumps along the way. For instance, you may battle your internal negative thoughts, the disbelief others may have in you, financial setbacks, timing issues and so on. This is normal in any journey towards your desires because we are often competing with the thoughts and beliefs of others in our environment and these May conflict with your own desires. So, you must believe in yourself and believe you can and will persist in the face of any obstacles that stand in your way.

Once you feel the strength of your self confidence and trust in your resilience you can and will battle through any feelings of procrastination. You will trust that every step forward is a step in the right direction. You will know in your heart that your dreams are already achieved  in your mind & are on their way.

For more inspiration and support visit Happy Life at: www.happylife.net.au

Self esteem boost: Don't seek change in others

If you are searching for changes in your life you must first make changes internally.

Do you ever think if only circumstances, events or people would change, life will be better? What's intersting about this misconception is that the way the universe works, you attract into your life experiences that match your internal moods. Psychologically you can interpret this as your life reflecting back at you your perceptions and beliefs.

It seems logical to think if only the horrible boss, friend, family member, partner or acquaintance would change your life would be easier and happier. Yet even when you free yourself from these people without addressing internal beliefs and values, there will be someone just as horrible waiting for you around the corner to make life feel just as miserable. In reality there are plenty of similar thinking people in this world to attract and you will continue to attract them unless you are clear about your boundaries. This is a core aspect of improving self esteem - accepting that you cannot change others. First you must change your thinking and feeling and then your circumstances will change.

The real issue to address is 'what are you thinking and feeling on a regular basis that is attracting such people into your life and what are you saying (verbally and non-verbally) is ok through your actions? When you don't stand up for yourself and allow others to treat you with little respect, you demonstrate that you accept such treatment. 

When others hurt you, you must look internally and ask yourself what am I missing here? Have I allowed this behaviour to go unaddressed in the past? Have I addressed the issue and been Ignored? Have I excused the behaviour? Is this behaviour the result of me being too passive to say what I would really desire?

Liking yourself is crucial to how to build self esteem
In order to truly be happy you must be happy with who you are. By increasing your own self belief and sticking to your values and beliefs, others around you will quickly learn the ways they should treat you. By working on increasing your inner strength and internal personal power, you can stand strong in the face of negative experiences and walk away feeling healthy and happy.

You have to be your own first priority - never forget that. Care for others, but never at the expense of your personal values and beliefs. Be strong and live happier and healthier.

To learn how to build confidence and gain self esteem visit Happy Life at: https://www.selfesteemonline.com.au