How much time do you spend feeling frustrated, depressed and angry because other people seem to be able to achieve what you desire - so easily? If you look closely you will find that whilst others may have acquired your goals quicker than you, there will be many things that they desire which you obtained more easily and most likely with less effort. The privilege of success in every aspect of life is not simply given to you (some aspects of life will always be easier & harder - depending on your life circumstance). So, when you really desire something, some planning & determination goes a long way.
If something is feasible - then it is possible. It's that simple. Thus, if you're aiming to be a model and you're told you are not tall enough, you're trying to be an artist and you can't draw, or you're trying to be a professional singer and you can't hold a note, then yes it is probably time to learn more about where your best strengths really lie. However, most of your desires are things you know in your heart you CAN achieve. It's a matter of pushing through every struggle and knowing with every fibre of your being that you are closer than you think.
One of the other issues that often stops you from achieving your desires is having the right strategy/plan and following through with it - diligently.
So, let's say you are looking for a partner. The first part of your strategy is working out what type of person you're looking for. Then, working out where this type of person would hang out. For instance:
- If you love partying - attend the same parties
- If you love exercising - join a club within your area of interest
- If you love travel - travel in a tour group with singles in your age bracket
- If you love design - attend trade shows, seminars & workshops in your chosen area of interest
Therefore, your strategy is to put yourself in an environment where you will be meeting similar minded singles that you are likely to want to date. Then follow through with your action.
The last part of the action plan is believing you are good enough to receive it when it comes. So this means when you are speaking to people who can help you achieve your goal - acting in a calm and confident manner. Further, when positive opportunities present themselves, don't be afraid to say "yes". Avoid self sabotaging your success out of a fear of not being good enough.
Finally, it's very important not to compromise on your goals to please others. In the example above, don't make excuses for negative behavior. When striving for your goals be persistent, determined and self confident. In doing do, you will not place yourself in uncompromising positions to get there and you will be focused and ready to strive for success & accept it when it comes your way.
Believe that everything is possible & you deserve it. Then don't give up!!!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
How to reduce stress to improve health and improve happiness
There is countless research regarding the effects of stress on your internal and external body. In fact, there is mounting evidence to support the complement of western medicine and alternative medicine to treat illness (stress reduction programs playing a very important role here). Stress is a very broad term, encompassing anxiety, worry, physiological & chemical body distress (eg being cold for too long, being over tired, being overworked) and so on.
There is a very strong connection between the mind and the body, yet many times it takes a physical manifestation to occur before individuals do something to minimize the stress. For instance, you'll wait until you experience significant stomach pain, headaches or back ache, before deciding to become actively involved in meditation, Pilates, or mindfulness practice.
The ideal, however, is to consistently train your mind to become more resilient to the inevitable stress around you. For instance, if you're struggling with financial worry, every time you receive a new bill, you are likely to be filled with panic, dread and physical illness as a result of prolonged stress. Negative stress tends to manifest in the head (headache pain) or the stomach areas of the body and thus can cause significant discomfort, resulting in further stress.
In order to minimize stress it's important to design a plan to manage your current situation, stick to your plan and move forward. An example of this plan would be to stagger your pay cheque according to your urgent bills and lifestyle and to put away specific amounts of money to pay off debt and have some fun. As long as the bare minimum is being paid, you can reduce stress and then focus on new ways to increase your income.
Worry can become a habit, so much so that you can learn to create worries when one does not appear to exist. Thus, it's important to also start paying attention to your worry cue's. This will help you to direct your relaxation efforts to the right time and place. It is also crucial to learn when you are most likely to be stressed and use these times to implement stress reduction strategies, such as controlled breathing, acceptance of the situation and belief in your ability to cope with anything life throws at you.
Therefore, stress reduction (along with healthy eating and regular exercise) not only improve your overall mood, but have been shown to have such a great impact on your health that they can reverse illnesses, reduce your chances of becoming ill and reduce your likelihood of relapse - should you fall ill.
It is so easy to push your body beyond its limits and then feel disappointed when your body gives up and decides it needs a break. Changing your lifestyle to incorporate healthy living is the greatest gift you can bestow on yourself. Life has enough ups and downs - why make the struggle harder by ignoring your self. You are worth so much more and deserve to live a happy and healthy life
There is a very strong connection between the mind and the body, yet many times it takes a physical manifestation to occur before individuals do something to minimize the stress. For instance, you'll wait until you experience significant stomach pain, headaches or back ache, before deciding to become actively involved in meditation, Pilates, or mindfulness practice.
The ideal, however, is to consistently train your mind to become more resilient to the inevitable stress around you. For instance, if you're struggling with financial worry, every time you receive a new bill, you are likely to be filled with panic, dread and physical illness as a result of prolonged stress. Negative stress tends to manifest in the head (headache pain) or the stomach areas of the body and thus can cause significant discomfort, resulting in further stress.
In order to minimize stress it's important to design a plan to manage your current situation, stick to your plan and move forward. An example of this plan would be to stagger your pay cheque according to your urgent bills and lifestyle and to put away specific amounts of money to pay off debt and have some fun. As long as the bare minimum is being paid, you can reduce stress and then focus on new ways to increase your income.
Worry can become a habit, so much so that you can learn to create worries when one does not appear to exist. Thus, it's important to also start paying attention to your worry cue's. This will help you to direct your relaxation efforts to the right time and place. It is also crucial to learn when you are most likely to be stressed and use these times to implement stress reduction strategies, such as controlled breathing, acceptance of the situation and belief in your ability to cope with anything life throws at you.
Therefore, stress reduction (along with healthy eating and regular exercise) not only improve your overall mood, but have been shown to have such a great impact on your health that they can reverse illnesses, reduce your chances of becoming ill and reduce your likelihood of relapse - should you fall ill.
It is so easy to push your body beyond its limits and then feel disappointed when your body gives up and decides it needs a break. Changing your lifestyle to incorporate healthy living is the greatest gift you can bestow on yourself. Life has enough ups and downs - why make the struggle harder by ignoring your self. You are worth so much more and deserve to live a happy and healthy life
Friday, January 11, 2013
Happiness gained through enjoying the journey
From a very young age we are taught to aim high, look to the future and wait for happiness to arrive after we have achieved our goals. The consequence of thinking like this is that happiness is only ever short lived. When we reach these goals we are not taught the skills of appreciating and enjoying the pleasure of this success. Being future goal driven, we soon forget the successes we achieve (or forget the enjoyment we felt after achieving our goals). Our minds soon focus on the next thing we need to achieve in order to be happy. Then term "I'll be happy when..." Becomes all too familiar.
The problem with this type of thinking is that it's ingrained from a very young age. We are rewarded and encouraged for working really hard, achieving good grades, making the team, getting the partner and so on... However, these end points lend themselves to the search for new goals to fulfill our deeper need to achieve first - in order to find happiness.
As a result of happiness being attached to success, we often feel negative emotions such as depression and anxiety when we fail to reach the goals we set our for ourselves (or when we fail to meet others expectations). Thus, happiness becomes dependent on success.
What a difference a simple change in mindset could make!
Imagine the difference in your life if you could change your thinking to focus on the enjoyment of the present - the journey towards your achievements as well as the final success. Whilst it may take a little practice, changing your thinking simply takes dedication and persistence. The payoff to realizing how much happiness you have in your life right now (whilst simultaneously being excited about what the achievement of your goal will enhance in your life) is enormous.
According to the law of attraction, being in a positive state whilst traveling along the journey to achieve your goals will create a similar vibration and enhance the likelihood that you will achieve your goals. But more importantly, taking time to realize how great even small aspects of your life are right now gives you the opportunity to live your life, rather than waste it focussing continuously in the future and never really living in and enjoying the present moment.
A great way to start shifting your mindset is via making a mental list before going to bed every night of all the things you are happy about right now, such as:
- your physical body is alive and functioning
- your family (or certain members of it)
- your home (you have shelter, water & food)
- your mind (having the intelligence to create your own happiness)
- your job (you have the capacity to earn money)
This process is not about saying "I should just be satisfied with what I have". It's about acknowledging that despite your struggles, on balance you can find things to be happy about right now. You can then use these qualities to give you more strength and trust that you can and will achieve more in your life.
The problem with this type of thinking is that it's ingrained from a very young age. We are rewarded and encouraged for working really hard, achieving good grades, making the team, getting the partner and so on... However, these end points lend themselves to the search for new goals to fulfill our deeper need to achieve first - in order to find happiness.
As a result of happiness being attached to success, we often feel negative emotions such as depression and anxiety when we fail to reach the goals we set our for ourselves (or when we fail to meet others expectations). Thus, happiness becomes dependent on success.
What a difference a simple change in mindset could make!
Imagine the difference in your life if you could change your thinking to focus on the enjoyment of the present - the journey towards your achievements as well as the final success. Whilst it may take a little practice, changing your thinking simply takes dedication and persistence. The payoff to realizing how much happiness you have in your life right now (whilst simultaneously being excited about what the achievement of your goal will enhance in your life) is enormous.
According to the law of attraction, being in a positive state whilst traveling along the journey to achieve your goals will create a similar vibration and enhance the likelihood that you will achieve your goals. But more importantly, taking time to realize how great even small aspects of your life are right now gives you the opportunity to live your life, rather than waste it focussing continuously in the future and never really living in and enjoying the present moment.
A great way to start shifting your mindset is via making a mental list before going to bed every night of all the things you are happy about right now, such as:
- your physical body is alive and functioning
- your family (or certain members of it)
- your home (you have shelter, water & food)
- your mind (having the intelligence to create your own happiness)
- your job (you have the capacity to earn money)
This process is not about saying "I should just be satisfied with what I have". It's about acknowledging that despite your struggles, on balance you can find things to be happy about right now. You can then use these qualities to give you more strength and trust that you can and will achieve more in your life.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Giving 100% to achieving your goals
In the pursuit of goals, there are two steps. 1) deciding on the goal that you want to achieve and 2) being 100% committed to achieving your goal. The first one takes some time because you can find you change your mind regularly about what you really want. However, once you are convinced about your desires, the most important part is being committed to achieving it.
In order to be committed to achieving a goal you need a number of things:
- ) unwavering self believe that you can achieve your goal
-) a single minded attitude that is able to fight against any obstacles that come your way
-) a plan that you can easily follow and adjust when necessary
-) a clear view of the steps necessary to make it
The first two of these necessities can be the most challenging. For instance, if you are starting a new business, you are likely to be faced with a period of making little money or just breaking even. At this point, you need to believe wholeheartedly in your product, avoid destructions that may convince you to focus on other ways to make (quick-fix) money and ignore the negative messages you are likely to be sending yourself - that will dint your self confidence.
With a strong mental attitude you can achieve any goal you set your mind towards. In fact, most successful people will tell of times they were faced with setbacks, but with a strong mind, they persisted and achieved their dreams. Most people give up in the face of adversity or when things become challenging. This is the time, however, to be strong and trust that if you are 100% deviated to achieving your goals you can and will be successful in your endeavors.
---- visit Happy Life at: www.happylife.net.au for all your life coaching, counseling and self-help needs
In order to be committed to achieving a goal you need a number of things:
- ) unwavering self believe that you can achieve your goal
-) a single minded attitude that is able to fight against any obstacles that come your way
-) a plan that you can easily follow and adjust when necessary
-) a clear view of the steps necessary to make it
The first two of these necessities can be the most challenging. For instance, if you are starting a new business, you are likely to be faced with a period of making little money or just breaking even. At this point, you need to believe wholeheartedly in your product, avoid destructions that may convince you to focus on other ways to make (quick-fix) money and ignore the negative messages you are likely to be sending yourself - that will dint your self confidence.
With a strong mental attitude you can achieve any goal you set your mind towards. In fact, most successful people will tell of times they were faced with setbacks, but with a strong mind, they persisted and achieved their dreams. Most people give up in the face of adversity or when things become challenging. This is the time, however, to be strong and trust that if you are 100% deviated to achieving your goals you can and will be successful in your endeavors.
---- visit Happy Life at: www.happylife.net.au for all your life coaching, counseling and self-help needs
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Changing your life - with balance
One of the things experts who have changed their lives say, is that with dedication and perseverance - you can change your life. However, the hardest part about changing your life, is balancing all the aspects of your life that you wish to excel in. For instance, how do you manage to have a successful career when you have a strong desire to spend time with your partner and children? Many successful professionals often find themselves working long hours in order to move up the corporate ladder, or to build successful businesses. Getting the balance right can be difficult.
Whilst their are practical considerations and roadblocks to balancing life priorities (especially when you're trying to make a change to reach a goal), there are two essential ingredients to achieving a good balance:
1) Unwavering self-belief
2) Feeling happy about the balance that you maintain
1) Unwavering self-belief
This is one of the biggest challenges human beings face. Many people find themselves self-sabotaging their successes because they don't really believe they're good enough to achieve or sustain their desired goals. When the goal is set, it appears to be achievable, however, when roadblocks start to appear, or the road becomes a little more difficult, self-doubt creeps in to dint confidence and motivation. This self-doubt usually leads to procrastination. People often assume procrastination is laziness, however, it is usually the result of underlying fear.
One of the easiest ways to build self- belief when you're moving towards a goal, is to continually refocus on where you want to go. For instance, if your goal is to write a book, you may find yourself procrastinating to avoid parts of the process (e.g. writing, editing, promoting) so as to have an excuse for it to potentially fail - as it's not yet complete. In the moments of procrastination, you must continuously remind yourself why your goal is important to you. You also need to be focused in the present moment, rather than focusing on the outcome of the goal. In the book writing example, you would focus on just the next step, rather than worrying about whether or not the book is going to be liked or well received. This mind shift takes some effort and persistence, because fear can be a very strong motivator for moving away from achieving a potentially scary goal.
2) Feeling happy about the life balance you maintain
Everyone has different desires and wishes for their professional life and personal life. Thus, you need to take time out to think about how much time you feel comfortable spending in all areas of your life and how this sits with those you care about most. Research shows that consistent, positive and quality time with loved ones is very effective at maintaining good quality relationships, so if you have minimal time with loved ones, at least make it count. This way, you can feel good about the time you're spending together and rationalise the amount of time you spend at work, at the gym, with friends and acquaintances, travelling and so on.
It's a good idea to give yourself space and time to reflect on the past year and to think about new strategies you could put into place to make your life more productive, effective and enjoyable. Trust in your self-belief and abilities to make the changes necessary to live a happy and successful life and seek help whenever you need it - to move forward with self confidence, trust and motivation.
Visit Happy Life today for personalised Life coaching and counselling support, or self-help online products, books and programs. See www.happylife.net.au
Whilst their are practical considerations and roadblocks to balancing life priorities (especially when you're trying to make a change to reach a goal), there are two essential ingredients to achieving a good balance:
1) Unwavering self-belief
2) Feeling happy about the balance that you maintain
1) Unwavering self-belief
This is one of the biggest challenges human beings face. Many people find themselves self-sabotaging their successes because they don't really believe they're good enough to achieve or sustain their desired goals. When the goal is set, it appears to be achievable, however, when roadblocks start to appear, or the road becomes a little more difficult, self-doubt creeps in to dint confidence and motivation. This self-doubt usually leads to procrastination. People often assume procrastination is laziness, however, it is usually the result of underlying fear.
One of the easiest ways to build self- belief when you're moving towards a goal, is to continually refocus on where you want to go. For instance, if your goal is to write a book, you may find yourself procrastinating to avoid parts of the process (e.g. writing, editing, promoting) so as to have an excuse for it to potentially fail - as it's not yet complete. In the moments of procrastination, you must continuously remind yourself why your goal is important to you. You also need to be focused in the present moment, rather than focusing on the outcome of the goal. In the book writing example, you would focus on just the next step, rather than worrying about whether or not the book is going to be liked or well received. This mind shift takes some effort and persistence, because fear can be a very strong motivator for moving away from achieving a potentially scary goal.
2) Feeling happy about the life balance you maintain
Everyone has different desires and wishes for their professional life and personal life. Thus, you need to take time out to think about how much time you feel comfortable spending in all areas of your life and how this sits with those you care about most. Research shows that consistent, positive and quality time with loved ones is very effective at maintaining good quality relationships, so if you have minimal time with loved ones, at least make it count. This way, you can feel good about the time you're spending together and rationalise the amount of time you spend at work, at the gym, with friends and acquaintances, travelling and so on.
It's a good idea to give yourself space and time to reflect on the past year and to think about new strategies you could put into place to make your life more productive, effective and enjoyable. Trust in your self-belief and abilities to make the changes necessary to live a happy and successful life and seek help whenever you need it - to move forward with self confidence, trust and motivation.
Visit Happy Life today for personalised Life coaching and counselling support, or self-help online products, books and programs. See www.happylife.net.au
Friday, December 7, 2012
How to cope with difficult relationships at work and in your family
There are many times in life when you're likely to find yourself in relationships that are unhealthy - and particularly damaging for your self-esteem. This happens particularly within the relationships in your family or at work. One of the major issues we are faced with is the stereotype we have created of the perfect job and family. We expect our family to be similar to the loving supportive families portrayed on tv (eg Family Ties, Modern Family, Different Strokes). We also expect our job environment to be fun, supportive and rewarding. With such high expectations, it's very easy to feel disappointed.
Often family's are coping with various emotions, life changes, cultural and religious expectations. At work you are placed in an environment with people who you may or may not get along with - or even like. However, you have up find a way to create an effective working relationship in order to enjoy your work and be productive.
There are various ways to cope within families and at work when you are faced with dealing with people who are letting you down, are criticizing you, or are trying to undermine you. When you have to stay in the environment there are 3 things you can do in a relationship that's letting you down in order to better cope and protect your self-esteem.
1) lower your expectations.
We often judge people against others in the same role (eg a friend's mum, or an old boss), however we have to allow people to be who they are and not expect any more. If they beat or meet our expectations, we can be pleasantly surprised, just don't expect them to be anything more than they are.
2) reduce contact
When you are around others with negative energy, do your best to minimize your physical contact with them. Choose your moments to communicate with these people and be calm and confident in your interactions - when you have to be in contact.
3) ask for very little
This is an important one and it's closely related to lowering your expectations. We ask for things because we expect a certain degree from others (eg expecting your boss to validate you, or expecting a family member to buy you a special gift for your birthday). If you ask for less and expect less, you increase your chances of being pleasantly surprised and you increase your coping resources when your hopes are not met.
In life, you are bound to come across people who rub you up the wrong way, so implementing the above strategies can
make life easier and much more enjoyable.
Often family's are coping with various emotions, life changes, cultural and religious expectations. At work you are placed in an environment with people who you may or may not get along with - or even like. However, you have up find a way to create an effective working relationship in order to enjoy your work and be productive.
There are various ways to cope within families and at work when you are faced with dealing with people who are letting you down, are criticizing you, or are trying to undermine you. When you have to stay in the environment there are 3 things you can do in a relationship that's letting you down in order to better cope and protect your self-esteem.
1) lower your expectations.
We often judge people against others in the same role (eg a friend's mum, or an old boss), however we have to allow people to be who they are and not expect any more. If they beat or meet our expectations, we can be pleasantly surprised, just don't expect them to be anything more than they are.
2) reduce contact
When you are around others with negative energy, do your best to minimize your physical contact with them. Choose your moments to communicate with these people and be calm and confident in your interactions - when you have to be in contact.
3) ask for very little
This is an important one and it's closely related to lowering your expectations. We ask for things because we expect a certain degree from others (eg expecting your boss to validate you, or expecting a family member to buy you a special gift for your birthday). If you ask for less and expect less, you increase your chances of being pleasantly surprised and you increase your coping resources when your hopes are not met.
In life, you are bound to come across people who rub you up the wrong way, so implementing the above strategies can
make life easier and much more enjoyable.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Stress and your body
There is countless research regarding the effects of stress on your internal and external body. Stress is a very broad term, encompassing anxiety, worry, physiological & chemical body distress (eg being cold for too long, being over tired, being overworked) and so on.
There is a very strong connection between the mind and the body, yet many times it takes a physical manifestation to occur before you do something to minimize the stress. For instance, you'll wait until you experience significant stomach pain, headaches or back ache, before deciding to become actively involved in meditation, Pilates, or mindfulness practice.
The ideal, however, is to consistently train your mind to become more resilient to the inevitable stress around you. For instance, if you're struggling with financial worry, every time you receive a new bill, you are likely to be filled with panic, dread and physical illness as a result of prolonged stress. In order to minimize stress you need a plan to manage your current situation, stick to your plan and move forward. An example of this plan would be to stagger your pay cheque according to your urgent bills & lifestyle & to put away specific amounts of money to pay off debt & have some fun. As long as the bare minimum is being paid, you can reduce stress and then focus on new ways to increase your income.
Worry can become a habit, so much so that you can learn to create worries when one does not appear to exist. Thus, it's important to also start paying attention to your worry cue's. This will help you to direct your relaxation efforts to the right time and place. Its crucial to learn when you are most likely to be stressed and use these times to implement stress reduction strategies, such as controlled breathing, acceptance of the situation and belief in your ability to cope with anything life throws at you.
Find more tips on reducing anxiety in the free article area of the Happy Life website: www.happylife.net.au
There is a very strong connection between the mind and the body, yet many times it takes a physical manifestation to occur before you do something to minimize the stress. For instance, you'll wait until you experience significant stomach pain, headaches or back ache, before deciding to become actively involved in meditation, Pilates, or mindfulness practice.
The ideal, however, is to consistently train your mind to become more resilient to the inevitable stress around you. For instance, if you're struggling with financial worry, every time you receive a new bill, you are likely to be filled with panic, dread and physical illness as a result of prolonged stress. In order to minimize stress you need a plan to manage your current situation, stick to your plan and move forward. An example of this plan would be to stagger your pay cheque according to your urgent bills & lifestyle & to put away specific amounts of money to pay off debt & have some fun. As long as the bare minimum is being paid, you can reduce stress and then focus on new ways to increase your income.
Worry can become a habit, so much so that you can learn to create worries when one does not appear to exist. Thus, it's important to also start paying attention to your worry cue's. This will help you to direct your relaxation efforts to the right time and place. Its crucial to learn when you are most likely to be stressed and use these times to implement stress reduction strategies, such as controlled breathing, acceptance of the situation and belief in your ability to cope with anything life throws at you.
Find more tips on reducing anxiety in the free article area of the Happy Life website: www.happylife.net.au
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