Stop saying "yes"

If your life is overfilled with commitments and you are feeling tired and overworked, you may have issues with saying "yes" and "no" in inapropriate times. Many intelligent people feel guilty when they are not busy, this can be a product of living in a society that encourages filling in every spare moment of your day with 'tasks'.

It can be difficult to say "no" when you don't have something specifically planned - the person asking often places pressure on you by saying "but you're not doing anything". The underlying message here is that your time - just for you - is not that important. If you don't value yourself, then you are more likely to feel guilty for saying "no" and then resent the fact that you're only giving in to appease this guilt.

The take home message - is that you HAVE to make YOU an important and valuable part of your life, otherwise how can you expect others to value you? If you need some time to yourself, it's OK to say 'I'd be happy to help another time, but at the moment I need some time to relax'. By nurturing yourself you help others because you are in a clearer frame of mind and can approach 'dificult' people in a more calm and rational manner.

Is sugar making you look older?

Most nutritionists will tell you that sugar is one of the negative foods in your diet. It's an ingredient that is very difficult to avoid if you're not paying attention. Foods such as pasta sauce, yoghurt, spreads, crackers and chewing gum are laden with sugar to enhance taste.

So what's wrong with sugar?
Many health professionals state that sugar changes the appearance of your skin. If you are looking more tired, drawn out and 'blotchy' than normal, it may be that you have too much sugar in your diet. If you're a person that tries to eat healthy foods, start paying attention to the processed foods in your diet to see what effect they might be having.

The good news
The exciting thing is the effects of sugar on your health are irreversible. You'll start to see results very quickly. This is why people report such healthy looking skin of the Refresh Your Life program (see: http://www.happylife.net.au/Products_Refresh_Your_Life.html). This program makes it easy to eat low sugary foods, in a balanced way. We all love our chocolates and sweets, so if you make sure you include them in your lifestyle in a sensible way, you'll look good, lose weight, feel happy and enjoy the treats too.

Where do you find your inspiration?

Inspiration can serve as a great motivator. For instance, if you love music, why not make sure that you have a number of playlists that get you excited and shift any negative mindsets - on the spot? Music is a great way to feel positive and to be in the moment. If you use your imagination it can transport you to places where the music has made you feel alive - say when dancing, at a special event such as a wedding, or when travelling.

Music has the power to evoke incredibly positive emotions and to boost your energy levels in an instant. It doesn't cost very much to download these days and yet the impact can be enormous.

The next time you're feeling a bit 'down', put on a song and have a dance - even get your partner and children involved. There's nothing more special than dancing with your kids whilst they make up their own moves. These are special moments that bring you closer together and shake up the cobwebs - leaving you in a more positive and inspired state.

Happy Life: Don't give up on your dreams

Happy Life: Don't give up on your dreams

Don't give up on your dreams

Sometimes it's hard to stay motivated on your dreams when you're in the throws of negative experiences. For instance, if you'd really like to have more money, but keep letting bills and debt get you down, you remain in a negative energy flow which actually increases your debts and reduces the amount of money you're attracting to you.

It's easy to say "just stay focused and positive", but it is something that you have to commit to. You have to remember that it takes a lot longer to move towards your dreams if you're currently in a state of negativity, than if you were in a more positive state looking forward to achieving your dreams. You need to understand that you created your current reality and just as you created this one, you can alter this one and create a new state. All you have to do is find ways to distract yourself from negative emotions and reframe your current experience so that it does not bring you down.

Do you believe in yourself?

Having faith in your abilities and in your judgement is a crucial aspect of life and being successful. Sometimes this isn't so easy because you'll be influenced by your past experiences and the belief that things in the past dictate your future - this is not true of course, but at times it's hard to see through negative emotions.

You need to practice believing in your judgement by building your self-esteem, challenging negative thoughts and focussing on the people, experiences and things that make you happy.

What is self-esteem?

There are many definitions of self-esteem. The key to a healthy self-esteem is to live a life where good and bad things happen, however, your belief in your core self is not affected by these events (e.g. you don't think you're a bad person because someone else is upset with you!).

Nathaniel Branden has defined self-esteem in a very interesting way. He states that self esteem is encompassed in our:

1. Confidence in our ability to think and to cope with the basic challenges of life (doing well)

2. Confidence in our right to be happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants and entitled to enjoy the fruits of our efforts (feeling good).

When you look at this definition, ask yourself, do you feel these things and if not, what beliefs, thoughts, experiences and feelings might be influencing your ability to develop and sustain a strong self-esteem.

Source: N.Branden (1992). The power of self-esteem (Deerfield Beach, Fla, Health Communications), In. Seligman, M.E.P (1995). The Optimistic Child, Houghton Mifflin Company, Boston.

Self-esteem and optimism

Self-esteem and optimistic thinking are very closely related. Having an optimistic view of the world means that you have a higher resilience when things go wrong, you don't tend to blame yourself for the ills of the world and you don't generalise negative events to the rest of your life. For instance, when you have a pessimistic view of the world, you would conclude that you are bad at all sports if you failed at just one, or you would conclude that you'll never have a meaningful intimate relationship with a partner because you've had one or a few negative relationships (disqualifying any positive evidence to the contrary) in the past.

Self-esteem is not something that can be improved overnight, nor is it something that's improved via positive thinking alone. It needs concerted effort and work to undo the negative impacts of the past and to create new ways of interpreting the events in your life and the impact they have on your future. For more information on self-esteem visit:
http://www.happylife.net.au/Self-esteem_online.html

Feeling Good

In order to increase your overall happiness, it's important to have the intention to feel good as often as possible. This seems like an obvious thing to say, however, there is a difference between saying you want to be happy and being committed to living a happy and optimistic life.

In order to feel good you have to ensure you are also healthy. This means paying attention to the influence of certain foods on your mood. This is particularly important for those who suffer from diabetes or irritable bowel syndrome. In both these cases, the consumption of certain foods will lead to negative mood states, irritability and exhaustion. In these negative mood states it's very difficult to feel motivated to be happy. Thus, health and happiness are intrinsically linked.

Make happiness your ultimate life goal. Visit: www.happylife.net.au

If something is making you unhappy - change it!

Do you continue to do the same thing over and over again - just trying harder each time - even though your methods are not achieving the results you desire? This is a common behavioural pattern. We learn one way of doing something and we just keep taking part in the same behaviour even though we've seen time and time again that we're not getting the results we desire.

If you see that something isn't working in your life, or it's making you unhappy, it's time to make a plan to move in a direction that brings you joy. Sometimes it's hard to see past your current stress, however, this is where the law of attraction works best. So take the following steps and move from struggle to freedom:

1. Acknowledge that your process is not working (e.g. you're not happy in your current job)
2. Decide on what alternative would make you feel better (e.g. to work in another industry or organisation)
3. Work out whether you need any additional resources to get your there (e.g. more study)
4. Set out your plan of achieving this
5. Focus on the desire that you want - as though you already have it. You don't need to worry about the plan any more, because you've put your plan in place

Shut down your internal critic

Have you noticed that each time you try to stay positive about something which you are focusing on in your life that makes you unhappy, your internal critic strikes a blow and keeps you in a negative vibration?

If you are in a place in your life right now that you do not want to be in and you have focused all your attention on the fear of staying there (feeling stuck), now is the time to distract your mind of this thought and solely focus on where you want to be as though it exists for you right now. This is not easy to start with, as your internal critic will fight you all the way, but you owe it to yourself to fight back and choose the path in life that makes you feel good!

The importance of good sleep

In our fast paced world we often take sleep for granted. Yet a good night's sleep can do wonders from your overall mood and in particular your coping resources - just ask any new mum!

Sleep deprivation has in fact been used as a form of torture, so you can see that this is a vital part of your overall health. It's not about the number of hours sleep you gain either, it's about the quality of your sleep. Thus it's very important that you find a way to wind down before going to bed.

Deepak Chopra suggests trying to go to bed prior to 10pm and even if you're not sleeping initially when in bed, going to bed with the attiude that it's all about rest and restoration will help you to wind down and relax about the process.

If you're having trouble with your sleep, try listening to a meditation CD prior to sleeping. The Happy Life meditation sleep CD is a great way to relax all the muscles of your body prior to sleep and to wake up feeling refreshed in the morning. For more information on this CD visit:
http://www.happylife.net.au/Products_Meditation_CD.html