The power of motherhood

Regardless of whether or not you are a mum, it's important to recognize the powerful impact mothers have (& potentially CAN have) on their children - including the role your own mother has played in the development of your self worth & happiness.

As a mother, you know you are bringing a new child into this world who you want to love and protect with all your heart. Pregnancy brings with it many hopes, dreams and fears but no-one can prepare you for the amount of pressure you place on yourself to be perfect. This pressure often leads to self doubt & self criticism because the expectations mothers place on themselves are often unrealistic. and idealistic of a perfect mum that in reality doesn't exist.

Despite these internal worries, the best part about being a mum is having an opportunity to know in your heart that you are adding value to your child/ren's lives.

Being a parent comes part and parcel with responsibility, worry, fun, happiness, exhaustion, exhilaration & much more... It's arguably the toughest job in the world, despite its lack of recognition. As a mum, you often feel responsible for the happiness of your children (& often of your partner as well). You can feel so much pressure to have to be perfect because there has never been more information available on the impact of parenting on child development.

However, there are always two ways of looking at this relationship. On the one hand you can focus on all the worries before you & the magnitude of your responsibility to assist your child/ren to grow & develop into strong, healthy & successful adults. Yet another take on this role is focussing on what a great opportunity you have to empower your child with the wealth of knowledge and experience you have learnt throughout your life. Whilst not always perfectly achieved, your own mother would have done her best - from her own world of experience - to impart her 'life lessons' on to you.

Whilst all mums are bound to get things wrong from time to time, each generation has the fortune of learning lessons from the previous generation, so as a mum you have the power to instill all the positive values you have learnt (& will continue to learn) throughout life.

Part of this learning is remembering to look after yourself.

A mothers own happiness and success is of paramount importance to her child's development. Through her happiness her child learns all the joy that life has to offer & he/she receives the benefit of her positive moods. Similarly, through her success, her child has a great role model to inspire her children to strive to be their best.

When you look at your mother, you are most likely judging her on aspects such as love, dedication, support and self worth. These are the most powerful elements of mothering that are most likely going to have the most profound effect on your long term relationship with her and the closeness of your relationship in the future. Thus, you can see that by appreciating all your mother is doing for you, encouraging her to look after herself - and taking in board this advice when/if you are a mum - will empower you both to have a more fruitful and happy life.

Your perceptions create your reality

Running around after a toddler often makes it difficult to arrive on time to appointments. Most of the time I just make it, but at times through no fault of my own, an obstacle prevents me from being punctual. As someone who loves being organized, running late is often a potential stressor for me, so I've been challenged in trying to find ways to accept that I'm doing my best & move on.

This morning was a great test case for me. Having dropped my daughter at childcare on time, I was very excited about being on time. I arrived at the station early. However, I was greeting by a packed station of people frustrated as a result of train delays. This meant I couldn't squeeze into the forthcoming train. So, I took a deep breath, contacted those waiting for me & jumped on the next train. Unfortunately this train was deviating from my usual route & stopped mid station for 20 minutes before progressing to another station. Here, I had to change trains again. Finally, I arrived at my destination 45 minutes late.

Normally, this tardiness would have left me quite stressed, but this morning my mindset was different and as a result. I arrived and explained calmly once again my predicament. Funnily enough - nothing bad happened. No- one was angry or upset with me. Everyone understood that I had tried my best. A very pleasing outcome!

So what changed in my mind on the way?

Along the train journey I told myself two things:

1) Perhaps this has delay has occurred to provide me with more time to listen to my inspirational CDs

2) I know in my heart that I tried my best & therefore there is nothing I can do about this situation

So, the greatest shift in my mind was focussing internally rather than externally.

If you look behind the reasons we worry about running late, it falls squarely on our concern about what others will think of us. Reframing the event and trusting that you're doing your best allows you to relax in the face of adversity & appreciate it for what it is. By changing my mindset, I changed my perception of the event. Instead of getting angry at the public transport system, I accepted that it was out of my control and made the best of the situation.

Question: Why is this shift so important?

Answer: I didn't want to allow this potentially negative experience to influence my positive state of mind. I know how important it is to be focused on my goals, dreams & desires and thus to be in the same positive frequency/energy as much as possible. Yes - life will throw me curve balls from time to time, but it's how I deal with these that result in my success or struggle in life.

For more support and tips on how you can live a happy and healthy life visit:

www.happylife.net.au / www.lifesuccesscoachs.com