As human beings we spend a lot of time in social comparison. It's very common to find ourselves wondering why life seems so easy for some & yet so hard for others. It can sometimes feel unfair.
One of the problems with modern life is that we are 'fed' information regarding what should make us happy. This happens over and over again through advertising. As a result, there is always a carrot at the end of the stick pushing you harder and harder to obtain the next goal or desire.
Think about the last new car you purchased. Initially, you were probably very excited about the car. You may have driven it around to your friends and family and relished in the validation and praise for your new 'shiny' purchase. However, before too long, the is likely to have become simply a means to an end (driving you from A to B), so the validation you felt from this purchase soon wears off. Why... Because around the corner is an advertisement for an even better/bigger/more technologically advanced car, making your car look less impressive. So, you may start to feel down about your car and start longing for the better one.
This cycle is a by product of our society. We have to accept this. However, we are much more likely to enjoy life (including our purchases) if we take time to think about what is important to us and what would truly make us happy. For instance, with regard to the new car, it's important to regularly remind yourself about what you love about it. If it's simply a great vehicle to take you places, tell yourself how grateful you are to own a reliable car. If you were looking for comfort and style, remind yourself how great your car is and remember to stop yourself when you compare it to newer vehicles.
When it comes to your life overall, it's really important to think about what makes you happy. A first clue is to look at the areas you tend to feel depressed about. Lack of money and relationship problems are common areas that often lead to depressed thinking. If you are lacking in finances, is there a chance that you are self sabotaging yourself as a result of comparing yourself to others who have much more money than you? Rather than engaging in social comparison, try thinking about your lifestyle overall when you think about money.
When you know how many hours you want to work, the industry in which you would like to work in and the hours you would like to invest in making money, you can make an informed decision about how much money you would like to have and whether or not this is reasonable. For instance, if you're feeling depressed about not being a millionaire, but you would rather spend time with your family and friends - instead of working all hours of the night - accept this and be grateful for your lifestyle. Then, start to think 'outside the box'. Ask yourself "Where could i invest some extra time and money to increase my passive income, so it does not impinge on my personal life?".
In my business I speak to many mums - Working full-time, part-time, or in the home. Many of these mums feel inadequate from time to time. The full time mums often feel guilty for having to work, the part-time mums often feel exhausted trying to lead two very separate lives, the stay at home mums often feel they could be contributing more and are worried they have lost touch of their previous professional lives. However, those that are happy are those that are clear about what they are doing - AND WHY! The stay at home mums are grateful for the opportunity to be actively involved in their child's upbringing, the part-time mums are grateful for time with the kids, keeping a foot in the professional door and contributing to the household finances, & the full-time working mums are grateful for their career, the money coming in to provide for their families and the quality time they have with their children. In each case, the mum is happy with her choice and knows clearly why she chose it. She also has realistic expectations of what she can abs can't achieve in her chosen role.
Therefore, a strong key for happiness is having clarity over how you want to live your life, being committed to this goal and having manageable and reasonable expectations of how you can achieve your goal also.
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