Stop worrying about what other people think

As an energy sensitive person, I find it very hard not to get drawn in to other people's emotions. My energy sensitivity is very useful in my professional career as a therapist, however, in my personal life it can get me into trouble. What tends to happen is that I become preoccupied with how others are feeling and then without realising it, begin to respond to their emotions. An example of this is when I am around acquaintances that are anxious. I pick up on anxious energy very quickly. I am aware of this at the time, however, I it has taken me a while to understand why I felt so drained after associating with these people.

The law of attraction suggests we pick up on others energies and if we are not mindful, we will internalise these outward feelings as our own. Delving into this further, I realised that I become so preoccupied with making others feel happy, that I forget to be myself. As a result, other people most likely pick up on the change in my behaviour, become more anxious - and the cycle continues. So what is the answer to this issue? The answer lies in being yourself. Whilst this sounds like a simple thing to do, it's incredible how many of us lose ourselves in the process of trying to please others. This does not mean that we should not try to make others happy. It is a very nice part of humanity to gain joy from giving joy to others. However, when you start to second guess how others are feeling, or take their feelings on as though they are your own, it becomes a problem.

A large part of this also comes from fear of getting into trouble - or upsetting others. Unfortunately a by-product of being a nice person, can result in becoming a people-pleaser. This sounds nice on one level, but it can cause a great deal of stress when it comes at the sacrifice of your needs and desires. Further, when you continuously put your needs last - in order to people others - resentment and guilt are often not far behind.

In order to change automatic reactions and habits it's important to consciously recognise the relationships that tend to bring on this behaviour and then to approach every new interaction with the resolve to be true to yourself and not simply agree with others, so as not to offend them. For instance, if you are a parent and you have a belief about how children should be put to sleep, which is in complete opposition to a friend's, it would be much more healthy for you to acknowledge your friend's belief and still raise your personal views. What most people do is say nothing (or agree) with oposing beliefs and then end up feeling angry and offended, rather than addressing the issue first hand. In doing so, the peace may have been kept - but at what cost to your soul?

Most of us have an innate desire to be liked, so we often go out of our way to make others happy and to keep the peace. However, this does not have to come at the cost of yourself - in other words - you don't have to lose yourself in relationships in order to be happy. By relaxing with who you are and accepting that your true friends will like you for who you really are - not the mirror image on themselves - you will feel much more comfortable and less exhausted as a result of being the real you, rather than the people-pleasing you.

Make an effort to get to know who you are - your values, beliefs and desires and invest time in feeling confident being yourself in all interactions. Yes, there is a time for decorum, however, you can still maintain your core self and in the process increase your self-esteem, regardless of the people, places or circumstances you find yourself in.

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