Are you struggling with low self esteem?

Your self esteem is the key element in your life that directly affects your overall health and wellbeing. Without a strong self esteem your relationships struggle, your work suffers, your dedication and motivation to eat healthy and exercise are impaired, your finances are ignored and so on. 

You can't just turn on your self esteem. It takes a commitment to change negative thinking and subsequent feelings. These two things directly and significantly alter your self esteem. So this is where you need to begin.

Start by paying close attention to your internal language. 

How are you speaking to yourself and what things do you say about yourself out loud? - eg comments like "I'm such an idiot" are a very common and destructive thing people tell themselves all the time. Not only is it damaging to your self worth, but it's completely untrue. 

Each time you catch yourself saying negative statements about yourself, stop and question what you're saying and then reframe your statement. Eg instead of saying you're an idiot when you make a mistake, tell yourself "yes, I made a mistake, but I'm human. Everyone makes mistakes. I'll learn from this one and get better". This is a more accurate statement and it's not damaging to your self esteem.

It takes time and effort to catch yourself in these moments of negative thinking but it is vital to reframe your language in order to feel better about yourself. The key though is that you must choose new statements that you actually believe. There is no point telling yourself something that simply isn't true.

To boost your self esteem today visit Happy Life at: www.happylife.net.au today 

Five ways to reduce stress at work

It's easy to say "just relax", but when you're feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to run first, you need a few quick fixes to get you back on track as quickly as possible. Below are a number of quick and easy ways to reduce stress whilst you're at work:

1) Write things down

Often the feeling of being overwhelmed comes from having too much in your mind and hence relying on your memory to get you through. The worst part of neglecting to write thins down is that your mind continuously reviews your list if tasks and in turn increases your anxiety over "all the things you still have to do". 

Take 5 minute to write down everything that's racing through your mind. It doesn't matter how small. The idea is to get these thoughts out of your mind and on to a notepad where you can refer to them later.

2) Take a break

You might think you don't have time to take a break, but the reality is if you take a short break (even 15 mins) and go for a walk, you will come back more refreshed, thinking much more clearly and feel like you can cope much better with the demands of your day. I would suggest taking some music to listen to and walking alone. If you want to walk with a friend make sure you avoid talking about work or stressful things in general, otherwise you're not having a proper mental break.

3) Eat slowly

When you're in a rush it's tempting to eat quickly to save time. However eating quickly can increase your heartbeat and cause digestive issues which will of course end up making you feel sick and even more stressed.

All you need is 5 minutes to just chew slowly and mindfully. In a way this becomes a little mental break. Once again avoid reading work related material whilst eating and avoid working with one hand and eating with the other.

4) Breathe 

The most obvious thing that happens when you're stressed is your heartrate increases and you begin to breathe very rapidly. Make sure you are conscious if your breath and slow down. You will work much more efficiently in this state, than if you allow your heartrate to race too rapidly.

5) Listen to some relaxing music 

Whilst you're engaged in something not too mentally taxing (like checking emails), listen to some relaxing music such as Bebel Gilberto's music. Take the music in and calm yourself down. 

Feeling calm in the workplace is essential for high performance, so don't dismiss it. Feeling calm you will feel much more in control. A simple 5 minute activity can settle you down and help you to think much more clearly - something that is often negatively impacted when stressed.

For more support or inspiration visit Happy Life at: www.happylife.net.au

Follow us on Twitter: @lohalloran72

Follow us on Instagram: LOHALLORAN1

Self esteem tip: How to Stop Self Sabotage Save View

Does fear cause you to run away just when you seem to be getting what you want?

Low self esteem is often coupled with self sabotage. People often think self sabotage sounds crazy - how can you reject something you tell others and yourself that you want so badly? Yet self sabotage is REALLY common.

At work people self sabotage all the time. They complain for years about feeling unfulfilled, stressed and undervalued. However, when a job presents itself that has all the potential to resolve many of their current complaints, individuals will finds things that must be wrong with this potential opportunity and remain where they currently stand - unhappy and frustrated & wondering just when is life going to change. 

In relationships people also have a strong tendency to self sabotage. They feel lonely and are tired of attracting negative relationships into their lives, yet when the opportunity to meet someone new (without inherent complications) presents itself they allow fear to interfere with their behaviour. So they often avoid taking the first step and reject the opportunity to commence something new.

There is something safe about staying put! Even though people may hate where they currently stand, they know what this space is like - they know they can cope with the unpleasantness (getting enjoyment from the fantasy of a potential better life). However, it takes an incredible amount of courage to say "I don't care how scary the unknown is.. I want my desires & I'm going to take a chance to get them". 

Most people spend their lives in the mode of self sabotage. They avoid taking risks and instead live a life in fear and hence very unhappy.

How to build self esteem and reduce self confidence 

Every step you take outside your comfort zone poses a potential risk. The key to overall happiness is how you interpret these risks and subsequently move on. For instance, taking a risk in the past on a new relationship that ended badly could either leave you feeling jaded and scared of ever taking the plunge with a new potential partner, or leave you healing past the pain and trusting that the right person for you is just around the corner. Similarly, taking a risk on a new business venture that failed could leave you either feeling like a complete failure, or challenge you to tweak things and get better (eg the journey of most successful business ple has stories of set-backs that inspired them to achieve even greater things).

You can choose to take controlled risks, or huge risks - that's a personal decision. I'm not suggesting you create risks and seek them out. Simply, when it comes to your inner desires, seize opportunities when they are presented to you. The Universe is responding to your requests, so seize the moments. 

Live the life that makes you happy. 

How to build self esteem and reduce self confidence