Believe in your dreams and you will succeed

Self Belief is the key to your success!

You don't have to have self confidence in every aspect of your life to be successful or happy - BUT you DO need to have self belief in the areas you strive to succeed in. This is why you can be very successful in your career but feel lost in your relationships. Self belief is situation specific.

If you are regularly self sabotaging yourself or feel like a failure in a particular area of your life, take a close look at your level of self belief in this area. For instance if you haven't succeeded in your career - do you doubt your abilities? Do you allow internal or external circumstances to impact on your self confidence? If you have not succeeded in your desire to attract a long term partner - do you doubt your level of attractiveness? Do you believe you really deserve to be treated with love and respect? Do you think you have enough to offer a partner? Do you fear rejection? 

These questions must be answered and dealt with in order to increase your self belief and to drive you to continue to work towards achieving your desired goals. 

If you have established a desired goal, there MUST be a strong part of you that believes you deserve it and can actually achieve it, otherwise you wouldn't even try. However, often life circumstances negative thoughts, doubts and insecurities get in the way of these beliefs and curtail your efforts to succeed.

You must leverage on the inherent belief that you can and will achieve your desires! You must trust that your mind is smart enough to know not to create a desire that it believes is not achievable. Thus, it's important to recognise that you know deep down that your goals are achievable for you.

In order to trust your inner beliefs you must learn to ignore and challenge the negative beliefs and expectations of others and yourself. Those who care for you will not want you to struggle and hence may encourage you to push away your dreams. Those who are jealous of you may try to diminish your confidence. You internally may compare yourself to others who have already achieved success and be influenced by self doubt.

The key is to regularly remind yourself that your goals are achievable for you. With persistent effort and determination you will achieve your dreams at the perfect time for you. It's important to trust this.

So... The process of your journey is to map out your plan for success, regularly remind yourself of why you will achieve your goals and then focus in the moment on each step as you get closer and closer to your desires.

If your dreams are truly conceivable for you, they are achievable!

To find more inspiration and build your Self Esteem visit www.slefesteemonline.com.au 

If you want to create a peaceful world, start creating peace internally

We all search for peace. We want peace in the world, peace in our homes, peace at work, peace with our loved one, but we often forget about the importance of inner peace. In order to truly create a peaceful world we must begin with creating peace within ourselves. 

Many of us spend our daily lives riddled with moments of anger:

-) Anger at the violence and negligence we read/hear about in the news

-) Anger at people we believe have been rude to us

-) Anger at things for breaking down

-) Anger at those who have hurt us in the past

-) Anger about not reaching a desired goal

...... And so on

When you think about it, there is a lot you could potentially be mad about throughout the course of your day. The problem with holding on to anger though is that anger and resentment are two of the worst things you can do to your health and happiness. 

Collectively as a nation, so much anger cannot be good energetically to create a peaceful world. How can we expect peace in the world when we live our lives riddled with anger. Our only saving grace is the balance we create with love, laughter and fun. Just imagine how great your world would be to live in if there was much more of this joy and much less anger.

In order to create a peaceful world we must start within ourselves by altering our mindsets and perspective on life. Here are some examples of things you could do to increase peace in your life:

**Instead of focussing on how much you hate your boss, focus on feeling sorry for his/her negative attitude & then focus on your goals and doing your best

**Instead of getting angry with yourself for not following through on actions towards a desired goal, start to believe in your ability to motivate yourself and do anything small right now

**Instead of living your life in fear, focus on peace and harmony in the world

**Instead of focussing on how upset you are over another person's rude behaviour, trust in your own actions and focus on being true to yourself

We all have the power to change our lives and to alter the world around us by simply focussing on peace and happiness. Use your power every day to create the life you truly desire and deserve.

To learn how to build self confidence and gain self esteem visit www.selfesteemonline.com.au

Folloe us on Twitter @lohalloran72

Five ways to reduce stress at work

It's easy to say "just relax", but when you're feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to run first, you need a few quick fixes to get you back on track as quickly as possible. Below are a number of quick and easy ways to reduce stress whilst you're at work:

1) Write things down

Often the feeling of being overwhelmed comes from having too much in your mind and hence relying on your memory to get you through. The worst part of neglecting to write thins down is that your mind continuously reviews your list if tasks and in turn increases your anxiety over "all the things you still have to do". 

Take 5 minute to write down everything that's racing through your mind. It doesn't matter how small. The idea is to get these thoughts out of your mind and on to a notepad where you can refer to them later.

2) Take a break

You might think you don't have time to take a break, but the reality is if you take a short break (even 15 mins) and go for a walk, you will come back more refreshed, thinking much more clearly and feel like you can cope much better with the demands of your day. I would suggest taking some music to listen to and walking alone. If you want to walk with a friend make sure you avoid talking about work or stressful things in general, otherwise you're not having a proper mental break.

3) Eat slowly

When you're in a rush it's tempting to eat quickly to save time. However eating quickly can increase your heartbeat and cause digestive issues which will of course end up making you feel sick and even more stressed.

All you need is 5 minutes to just chew slowly and mindfully. In a way this becomes a little mental break. Once again avoid reading work related material whilst eating and avoid working with one hand and eating with the other.

4) Breathe 

The most obvious thing that happens when you're stressed is your heartrate increases and you begin to breathe very rapidly. Make sure you are conscious if your breath and slow down. You will work much more efficiently in this state, than if you allow your heartrate to race too rapidly.

5) Listen to some relaxing music 

Whilst you're engaged in something not too mentally taxing (like checking emails), listen to some relaxing music such as Bebel Gilberto's music. Take the music in and calm yourself down. 

Feeling calm in the workplace is essential for high performance, so don't dismiss it. Feeling calm you will feel much more in control. A simple 5 minute activity can settle you down and help you to think much more clearly - something that is often negatively impacted when stressed.

For more support or inspiration visit Happy Life at: www.happylife.net.au

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Why best friendships in a partnership are so important

I've spoken a fair bit about how easy it can be to take those close to you for granted. This common mistake happens regularly in intimate relationships and within close friendships/families and often ends in broken hearts. 

The craziness of modern life can often lead to placing your focus in the wrong place, assuming that those you love will always be there. However, when we look at our heirachy of importance in relationships, those we care deeply for must come first or at least be tended to regularly, in order to sustain a healthy relationship.

Whilst attracting the right partner can seem like the toughest part, maintaining a healthy and happy relationship that stands the test of time is much harder. The underlying foundation of relationships with such longevity is true friendship - being best friends, feeling attracted to each other and feeling comfortable in open and honest communication.

Wedding planners often tell me it is not uncommon these days for a couple to spend around $100,000 on a wedding. It's no wonder when you think about the fact that the idea of the romantic wedding is engrained into children from a very young age. Yet, the statistics show that there is a 50% divorce rate, indicating that these unions have a 50% chance of breaking up. 

Whilst there are a number of reasons why marriages fail, one reason is that partners are not the best of friends before walking down the isle (or committing to each other in a de-facto relationship). Part of being best friends involves enjoying spending time together, looking forward to seeing each other/speaking to each other and committing to being a team. Many individuals within a partnership can't wait to spend time with other people in their lives who appear to be more fun (eg avoiding a nagging partner at home). In doing so resentment builds up and couples move further and further away from friendship - and eventually the demise of their relationships.

If you're currently in a committed relationship take time to really look at your partner regularly and remind yourself of why you fell in love in the first place. Think about what first attracted you to each other, focus on how you would feel if you ever lost this person. It's vital to get in touch with these feelings regularly so that you never lose sight of what's really important to you.

If you are single, or in a new relationship ensure you look for a compatible partner that you are attracted to, but most importantly that you truly like spending time with, in order to develop a true best friendship over time. Begin with a great foundation and you will develop a partnership for life that can stand the rest of time.

For more inspiration visit Happt Life at: www.happylife.net.au or follow us on Twitter at: @lohalloran72 or on Instagram at: lohalloran1

Are you really being rejected or do you just think you might be???

You can spend an aweful amount of time believing that you have been rejected by someone when in fact you are the one who has made a conscious effort to walk away from a person you know is behaving in a manner that is not healthy for you. 

Your gut instinct is a good indicator of appropriate behaviours. However often human beings interpret inappropriate behavior towards them as a reflection of another persons feelings towards them, when in fact the negative behaviours are a reflection of issues and circumstances rather than feelings. 

For instance, a child may interpret a father distancing himself when entering into a new relationship after a divorce as a sign he no longer loves her. However, the behaviour is not reflective of his love for his child. It is a reflection of circumstance - eg as a result of entering a new relationship in which the new partner wants him to distance himself from his child, he no longer has the strength to maintain the same close relationship with his daughter. The daughter in turn gets upset and begins to distance herself from her father because she no longer wants to get hurt. 

In this example the daughter is likely to think that her father has rejected her and no longer loves her. However, the truth is really that she has decided she does not want a superficial relationship with her father and as such has decided to walk away. Her father simply cannot give her what she wants - in his current world of experience. His behaviour has nothing to do with his feelings towards her. He still loves her the same amount. His behaviour has just changed - not his feelings.

The way you interpret the behaviours of others in your life directly impacts how you perceive yourself and your level of overall happiness in life. For instance you may interpret that a friend who always waits for you to invite her out (& rarely invites you first) doesn't really like you. However, this is not likely to be true. In fact her behaviour is most likely the result of her being too busy and just relying on you to be the 'organiser' within the relationship. In this situation, you then have the right to decide if this is the type of relationship you would like and to voice your feelings about the current situation. The worst thing you can do is just sit back and make false assumptions about how she feels about you and hence leer your self-esteem.

So really think carefully before you interpret someone behaviour as a rejection of you. It's important to be mindful of you perceive others because it directly impacts how you feel about yourself and often our assumptions about how others feel about us are completely untrue.

For more support follow us on twitter at: lohalloran72 or visit us online at: www.happylife.net.au or www.helpformums.com.au

Mapping out goals is crucial to personal & professional achievement

Do you have desires but find yourself self-sabotaging your success by not following through? 

The main 2 reasons goals are not realised are:

1) no clear roadmap for success

2) no commitment to the roadmap

Designing a roadmap to achieve your desires is extremely important, yet is often not undertaken, because it takes time. 

Let's take a common goal: weightloss/fitness. 

Most people who want to lose weight, but do not take the time to map out exactly what they have to do & how these requirements can fit in with current personal and professional commitments. So, even if they purchase a good plan (eg a weightloss program) they have not taken the time to adjust the program to make sure the requirements are achievable in view of current life commitments to work, home life, family and friends.

Another common example is in business. Many individuals have a desire to start a new business venture but do not take adequate time to write out and stick to a regularly updated business plan. They also do not take time to think about short/medium/long term goals and how these are going to be achieved - devising a plan for current gaps & business requirements in order to realise their dreams.

The second aspect - commitment is even more vital.

So often people say they want to achieve a goal but are not fully committed to it. In their heirachy of importance, they think it's up the top, but in reality the goal regularly takes a back seat to other priorities. In such instances individuals need to spend time thinking about whether the goal really is that important to them right now - in view of other commitments that continue to take precedent. If they don't take time to do this, they regularly feel depressed about not achieving a currently unrealistic goal. However, if they take time to really assess their level of commitment, they can discuss their desires with others in their life and accommodate requests accordingly.

It's easy to look at other successful people who have what you want and feel sad about your lack of success. However most of the time there has been planning and commitment behind their successes & this part is often forgotten. 

Take the time to map out your goals and then commit to each stage of your journey, so you can live in the moment & feel good about the fact that each step you commit to take along your journey takes you one step closer to your goals.

To find out How to improve your self esteem Click on this link, or visit www.selfesteemonline.com.au 

How often do you learn your life lessons from positive or negative life events?

We are often thinking about what we are missing in life and about all the tragic experiences we hear in the news and from people all around us. As a result we end up learning most of our life lessons from painful life experiences and often neglect to learn from our positive life experiences. In fact, we tend to disqualify and ignore most of them. Our focus is often in the wrong places as we absorb all the pain of life's hurtful events and forget to truly and regularly absorb the pleasure of our successes, our relationships and our daily achievements.

BUT WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE BE LIKE IF YOU CHOSE TO LEARN PRIMARILY FROM ALL THOSE POSITIVE LIFE EVENTS?

For example, what if you absorbed how kind, respectful, thoughtful and considerate all those people you encountered today were, rather than absorbing how rude one person was to you today? What if you focussed on that one person who smiled at you today, opened the door for you, gave way to you at a busy intersection, allowed you to order your coffee first, supported you when you were feeling nervous, gave you directions, or pressed the light for you at a pedestrian crossing? What if you focussed on how nice your close friend was for listening to you talk about your most recent problem, rather than leaving this experience still focussed on how tough your life is as a result of this problem?

All these little life events often go unoticed and unaknowledged, yet they have the power to teach you (in abundance) what a valuable person you are on this earth.Your value in life and your successes needn't be measured by the small number of negative events you encounter in life.

Yes, there are negative things happening all around us. However, we often assume life is terrible because we completely ignore, or do not trully take in how many multitudes of great (positive) things are happening all around us on a minute-by-minute basis. You just have to start paying attention and taking it in - REGULARLY....

Of course we are all human and when we hear about tragic events, we feel pain. However, we have a choice in how we interpret these events. Often the interpretation is that the world is a horrible and negative place. BUT.... this is categorically not true. For every negative events there are countless positive events. We have just been trained to primarily absorb and learn from these negative expereinces. However, we must learn to pay attention to all the positive life lessons we have surrounding us.

Instead of getting upset about being kept waiting for an appointment, focus on how nice the person who served you was once you were attended to. Instead of focussing on the one rude person who cut you off in traffic, focus on the 15 kind people who either smiled at you, gave way to you, or didn't cut your off. Instead of focussing on your one friend who is neglecting you, focus on the other friends who are being kind to you and supporting you. Instead of focussing on your family member who is being disrespectful to you, focus on the 10 other family memebers who are being kind to you. Instead of focussing on your lack of intimacy, focus on all the affection you do receive (e.g. from your children, parents, friends).

I am not suggesting you live in denial and ignore your painful life experiences. The main message here is to not become obsessed by them and learn (incorrectly) that they are a reflection of you or society at large. When negative things occur to you personally, or you are affected by the pain and suffering of others, you have to allow yourself time to grieve and reach a level of acceptance. When these events occur though, you have the option of either allowing them to convince you that they are a reflection of how negative society and people in general are on this earth. OR... you can choose to understand that these events are a part of life and do not reflect the nature of most people living on this earth. In fact, most people are kind and loving. Most people care about the wellbeing of others. However, at times, negative experiences occur and we must cope accordingly.

The mistake human beings often make is learning negatively from negative life events and failing to learn positively (to balance out the negatives) from positive life events. If you spent most of your time focussing on the positive things around you, you would be able to assess more clearly negative life events for what they are and not draw negative conclusions about yourself and the world around you as a result of these events.

Take time to pay attention to the world around you. Don't miss out of the many opportunities you have to observe happiness, kindness and generosity all around you. Give yourself the chance to have a more balanced and accurate picture of the world around you. It might take concentration, but it is so worth it!

For more inspiration and support visit Happy Life at: www.happylife.net.au