Learning to trust your instincts

The daily punishment you can place your body & mind under - as a result of constant negative feedback - can leave you with a lack of trust in your inner instincts. You can learn over time that it's not safe to trust that inner voice that tells you it's time to speak up (particularly when there is a chance you may get hurt). 

Why might you feel insecure in your ability to trust your instincts? 

Often this happens as a result of rejections and others letting you down. When you are rejected by someone you love you can easily learn (incorrectly) that you are not a worthy person and also learn that your instincts about this person were not accurate. You can begin to wonder if you really can trust your guidance system that has led you into a situation where pain has been the outcome. 

Add to this when those you care about regularly let you down, you can learn not to trust your inner guidance system who once again led you to these relationships. 

What we tend to quickly forget is that 99.9% of times your inner voice has tried to warn you about others who may not be the best 'fit' for you, but you have allowed your desires 'in the moment' to drive your behaviour and hence pushed forward with people who time and time again let you down. 

The question you need to ask yourself is "when will I start to realise the importance of listening to my instincts?"

When you repeatedly ignore your inner voice you leave yourself vulnerable. You are vulnerable to:

-) being hurt by those who do not truly show you the respect you deserve

-) ignoring potential errors that could lead to future problems

-) rejecting opportunities to stretch your wings and be the person you truly want to be

-) not standing up for yourself

-) others developing an inaccurate picture of you

So you can see, learning to pay attention when your intuition is trying to speak up, is vital to your overall health, happiness and success in life.

Start today! 

Start to listen to your inner voice. Don't rush into decisions. Give yourself time and permission to do things in your own time. Don't ignore your inner drives - particularly out of fear. Act - when your instincts tell you to speak up. 

Trust your instincts - one instinct at a time!

For more support and inspiration visit Happy Life at: www.hapoylife.net.au

Why best friendships in a partnership are so important

I've spoken a fair bit about how easy it can be to take those close to you for granted. This common mistake happens regularly in intimate relationships and within close friendships/families and often ends in broken hearts. 

The craziness of modern life can often lead to placing your focus in the wrong place, assuming that those you love will always be there. However, when we look at our heirachy of importance in relationships, those we care deeply for must come first or at least be tended to regularly, in order to sustain a healthy relationship.

Whilst attracting the right partner can seem like the toughest part, maintaining a healthy and happy relationship that stands the test of time is much harder. The underlying foundation of relationships with such longevity is true friendship - being best friends, feeling attracted to each other and feeling comfortable in open and honest communication.

Wedding planners often tell me it is not uncommon these days for a couple to spend around $100,000 on a wedding. It's no wonder when you think about the fact that the idea of the romantic wedding is engrained into children from a very young age. Yet, the statistics show that there is a 50% divorce rate, indicating that these unions have a 50% chance of breaking up. 

Whilst there are a number of reasons why marriages fail, one reason is that partners are not the best of friends before walking down the isle (or committing to each other in a de-facto relationship). Part of being best friends involves enjoying spending time together, looking forward to seeing each other/speaking to each other and committing to being a team. Many individuals within a partnership can't wait to spend time with other people in their lives who appear to be more fun (eg avoiding a nagging partner at home). In doing so resentment builds up and couples move further and further away from friendship - and eventually the demise of their relationships.

If you're currently in a committed relationship take time to really look at your partner regularly and remind yourself of why you fell in love in the first place. Think about what first attracted you to each other, focus on how you would feel if you ever lost this person. It's vital to get in touch with these feelings regularly so that you never lose sight of what's really important to you.

If you are single, or in a new relationship ensure you look for a compatible partner that you are attracted to, but most importantly that you truly like spending time with, in order to develop a true best friendship over time. Begin with a great foundation and you will develop a partnership for life that can stand the rest of time.

For more inspiration visit Happt Life at: www.happylife.net.au or follow us on Twitter at: @lohalloran72 or on Instagram at: lohalloran1

Stop making excuses in relationships

It's very common for women in particular to make excuses for the behavior of partners at the expense of themselves - particularly in new relationships. Women who are likely to be suffering from low self esteem can find themselves in relationships where they are having to guess how much a new partner really likes them, wants to be with them and/or wants to be in a committed relationship with them.

As an outsider, it's often easy to see the problem in these situations - these women often desperately wants to believe the relationship will work, so they seek potential signs to prove the relationship will be a success. Often the search is for signs the other person likes Them. However this is where most of the problem lies. In seeking validation, women can confuse whether someone likes them, with whether someone wants to be in a committed relationship with them. They are very different things. The respective partner most likely enjoys the woman's company but if she is having to question his true intentions, he is not willing to give her as much as she truly desires.

It's very important for men and women to be VERY clear about the person they want to attract and the relationship they would like to have. In doing so, early warning signs of negative behavior (such as being distant, being rude, flirting with other people and showing a lack of respect) provide clear direction to either walk away or clarify the behavior early on - then make a decision about staying or leaving.

The key issue here is self respect and self value. People put up with bad friends, partners, family members and associates because humans have an innate need to be liked. However, it's important to remind yourself regularly that avoiding assertive actions (standing up for what you feel is acceptable behavior in a relationship) empowers you to create positive and supportive relationships. These relationships in turn help you to grow and succeed as a human being.