Learning to trust your instincts

The daily punishment you can place your body & mind under - as a result of constant negative feedback - can leave you with a lack of trust in your inner instincts. You can learn over time that it's not safe to trust that inner voice that tells you it's time to speak up (particularly when there is a chance you may get hurt). 

Why might you feel insecure in your ability to trust your instincts? 

Often this happens as a result of rejections and others letting you down. When you are rejected by someone you love you can easily learn (incorrectly) that you are not a worthy person and also learn that your instincts about this person were not accurate. You can begin to wonder if you really can trust your guidance system that has led you into a situation where pain has been the outcome. 

Add to this when those you care about regularly let you down, you can learn not to trust your inner guidance system who once again led you to these relationships. 

What we tend to quickly forget is that 99.9% of times your inner voice has tried to warn you about others who may not be the best 'fit' for you, but you have allowed your desires 'in the moment' to drive your behaviour and hence pushed forward with people who time and time again let you down. 

The question you need to ask yourself is "when will I start to realise the importance of listening to my instincts?"

When you repeatedly ignore your inner voice you leave yourself vulnerable. You are vulnerable to:

-) being hurt by those who do not truly show you the respect you deserve

-) ignoring potential errors that could lead to future problems

-) rejecting opportunities to stretch your wings and be the person you truly want to be

-) not standing up for yourself

-) others developing an inaccurate picture of you

So you can see, learning to pay attention when your intuition is trying to speak up, is vital to your overall health, happiness and success in life.

Start today! 

Start to listen to your inner voice. Don't rush into decisions. Give yourself time and permission to do things in your own time. Don't ignore your inner drives - particularly out of fear. Act - when your instincts tell you to speak up. 

Trust your instincts - one instinct at a time!

For more support and inspiration visit Happy Life at: www.hapoylife.net.au

If you want to create a peaceful world, start creating peace internally

We all search for peace. We want peace in the world, peace in our homes, peace at work, peace with our loved one, but we often forget about the importance of inner peace. In order to truly create a peaceful world we must begin with creating peace within ourselves. 

Many of us spend our daily lives riddled with moments of anger:

-) Anger at the violence and negligence we read/hear about in the news

-) Anger at people we believe have been rude to us

-) Anger at things for breaking down

-) Anger at those who have hurt us in the past

-) Anger about not reaching a desired goal

...... And so on

When you think about it, there is a lot you could potentially be mad about throughout the course of your day. The problem with holding on to anger though is that anger and resentment are two of the worst things you can do to your health and happiness. 

Collectively as a nation, so much anger cannot be good energetically to create a peaceful world. How can we expect peace in the world when we live our lives riddled with anger. Our only saving grace is the balance we create with love, laughter and fun. Just imagine how great your world would be to live in if there was much more of this joy and much less anger.

In order to create a peaceful world we must start within ourselves by altering our mindsets and perspective on life. Here are some examples of things you could do to increase peace in your life:

**Instead of focussing on how much you hate your boss, focus on feeling sorry for his/her negative attitude & then focus on your goals and doing your best

**Instead of getting angry with yourself for not following through on actions towards a desired goal, start to believe in your ability to motivate yourself and do anything small right now

**Instead of living your life in fear, focus on peace and harmony in the world

**Instead of focussing on how upset you are over another person's rude behaviour, trust in your own actions and focus on being true to yourself

We all have the power to change our lives and to alter the world around us by simply focussing on peace and happiness. Use your power every day to create the life you truly desire and deserve.

To learn how to build self confidence and gain self esteem visit www.selfesteemonline.com.au

Folloe us on Twitter @lohalloran72

Mapping out goals is crucial to personal & professional achievement

Do you have desires but find yourself self-sabotaging your success by not following through? 

The main 2 reasons goals are not realised are:

1) no clear roadmap for success

2) no commitment to the roadmap

Designing a roadmap to achieve your desires is extremely important, yet is often not undertaken, because it takes time. 

Let's take a common goal: weightloss/fitness. 

Most people who want to lose weight, but do not take the time to map out exactly what they have to do & how these requirements can fit in with current personal and professional commitments. So, even if they purchase a good plan (eg a weightloss program) they have not taken the time to adjust the program to make sure the requirements are achievable in view of current life commitments to work, home life, family and friends.

Another common example is in business. Many individuals have a desire to start a new business venture but do not take adequate time to write out and stick to a regularly updated business plan. They also do not take time to think about short/medium/long term goals and how these are going to be achieved - devising a plan for current gaps & business requirements in order to realise their dreams.

The second aspect - commitment is even more vital.

So often people say they want to achieve a goal but are not fully committed to it. In their heirachy of importance, they think it's up the top, but in reality the goal regularly takes a back seat to other priorities. In such instances individuals need to spend time thinking about whether the goal really is that important to them right now - in view of other commitments that continue to take precedent. If they don't take time to do this, they regularly feel depressed about not achieving a currently unrealistic goal. However, if they take time to really assess their level of commitment, they can discuss their desires with others in their life and accommodate requests accordingly.

It's easy to look at other successful people who have what you want and feel sad about your lack of success. However most of the time there has been planning and commitment behind their successes & this part is often forgotten. 

Take the time to map out your goals and then commit to each stage of your journey, so you can live in the moment & feel good about the fact that each step you commit to take along your journey takes you one step closer to your goals.

To find out How to improve your self esteem Click on this link, or visit www.selfesteemonline.com.au 

Optimists creed

I came upon this creed and thought it was a wonderful thing to pass on and read regularly.

Enjoy...

The Optimist’s Creed

“Promise Yourself…

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about
your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press-on to the greater achievements
of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you."

(From the book: “Your forces and how to use them” by Christian D. Larson

1912)

Why it's so important to increase self-esteem

The underlying cause of a lot of unhappiness is low self-esteem (a lack of confidence in your own worth or abilities). Self-esteem is the product of your life history, genes and circumstance. Low self-esteem is usually coupled with insecurity and self-doubt. These negative aspects of the 'self' have a nasty habit of causing self sabotage and reducing confidence. 

It's heartbreaking to witness how low self-esteem debilitates ones life through fear and doubt. The cruelest part of low self-esteem is that no matter how strong your belief is about how much you believe you deserve something, low self-esteem will find a way to ruin any chances of success unless you manage or heal it.

Let's look at the example in relationships. It's a strong desire for most people to attract and maintain a loving, supportive and fun intimate partner. When the relationship is yet to manifest, the desire intensifies until the universe nicely conspires to place you at the right place at the right time to form this potential partnership. If your self-esteem is moderate to high you will be yourself, show your best qualities and allow the relationship to grow organically. However, if your self-esteem is low you will panic at the slightest perception your potential partner has lost interest, behave in ways inconsistent with your true values and sacrifice much more of yourself than is appropriate in order to sustain a relationship that deep down you don't believe you truly deserve.

Similarly, when it comes to changing your career path, if you do not have a high self-esteem you will procrastinate, make poor decisions and avoid taking potential risks due to a very high fear of failure. 

How you feel about yourself directly impacts on your life success and overall happiness.

Thus, before you embark on any life change, it's imperative that you first work on increasing your self-esteem.

Whilst there are short-term quick- fix solutions to increasing your self-esteem, it usually takes a bit of time to firstly find the underlying causes of low self-esteem and then to begin to increase your self worth and self confidence using a variety of techniques. 

Whilst it can take time to fully increase self-esteem, a great way to begin boosting self-esteem is through validation (internal and external). This means acknowledging and welcoming the praise you receive by others and taking the time to regularly give yourself praise for every little job well done - instead of just disqualifying it as another job to tick off your to-do list. These could be as simple as prising yourself for:

- posting a profile on a dating site

- contacting someone you have a crush on

- attending an event that made you feel nervous

- completing a daunting presentation

- applying for that great job

- speaking up about something you feel strongly about

- paying your bills on time

- investing your money

- cleaning your home

- making time to care for a loved one

- spending time with a friend from overseas or interstate

On a daily basis you do a myriad of fantastic things that you either ignore or downplay simply because they are not as important as the tasks you have decided are most important to lead you towards achieving your long term goals. Whilst these tasks are great measures of success, taking time to acknowledge all the other great things you're doing daily will increase your self-esteem. In turn it will increase your confidence in your abilitiy to make your larger desires a reality. 

So praise yourself and others regularly and be proud of all the wonderful things you do for yourself and others on a daily basis.

Be mindful of your self-esteem and seek help if you need assistance to boost your self worth.

For more information or support for low self-esteem visit: http://www.happylife.net.au/self-esteem_online.html

Who decides on your reality?

It's very interesting to start to delve deeper into the mind. This pondering begs to question how two people can experience the exact same event and yet have completely different views on what transpired.

When you think about the way we conceptualise reality, this phenomenon seems quite impossible. After all, isn't what we see reality? 

In reality, what we observe and how we interpret our observations, make up our reality. Your perceptions will be directly related to your current emotional state and your history. A person who is generally feeling happy will view a potentially negative event in a much more optimistic light, than a person who is feeling depressed. Yet the event remains in Essence the same.

If you can accept this concept to be true, you can accept a concept one step further and believe that the way you think about your environment directly mirrors your perception of reality. Thus, what you think about - you truly create!

Our whole existence is based on believing our real world outside of us makes us feel particular ways. People often think "The job makes me uphappy, the money problems make me unhappy, the partner makes me unhappy" and so on... 

However, in reality it is our perception of these events that cause us to be unhappy, rather than the events themselves. By choosing to alter your perceptions, you not only find liberation in the face of adversity, but you find a path to creating new and more pleasant realities.

We go back to meditation because it is a powerful way of controlling your thoughts and opens up the window to create your desires future. If you can't find time to meditate right now, at the very least take opportunities where possible to focus on feelings of happiness. Travelling to work is a perfect time to engage in positive thinking. Wearing dark sunglasses on a train enables you to close your eyes in a crowded environment without any embarrassment.

During these times of meditation think about how you can start to create the positive energy in you that you want to project externally. You don't need to worry about the outcome. If the laws of quantum physics are correct - like energy attracts. So your greatest job in life is to ensure your mindset and emotional state match the same mindset you believe you will have only once you receive your desired outcome. Feeling before seeing!! TRUST is the key ingredient. 

It's a shift in your way of thinking, but it's so worthwhile to really begin to enjoy each day in your life journey.

For more support and inspiration visit: www.happylife.net.au

There's a big difference between being nice & being passive

Objectively if you were to look at the human race you could be convinced that there is something wrong with a species that seems to repel and reject nice people on a regular basis. I see countless evidence of 'nice' people being taken advantage of, walked over, ignored, rejected and criticized. However, when you look closely at these examples you invariably find these nice people are in fact engaging in passive behaviour and ignoring their own needs, wants and desires in order to please others. Hence why it's easy to confuse being nice with being passive.

So, what is the difference between niceness and passivity?

Being a nice person goes hand in hand with considering the needs of others, being kind, being generous, helping and supporting those in need. However, when these qualities come at the expense of your own needs, wants and desires on a regular basis they translate into passive behaviour. The major problem with being passive under the guise of niceness is that it often translates into resentment and anger - in turn causing you to no longer want to be nice.

Being passive also tends to bring out the worst in others because people tend to assume that nice person will be more accommodating and be less likely to complain when things don't go their way.
The reason many nice people avoid being assertive is they are driven by a need to please others. Thus, expressing conflicting views can be very frightening for a passively nice person, as it has the potential to upset others and result in negative consequences (eg rejection and criticism).

The most fascinating aspect of passive behaviour is that it ends up leading to the same negative outcomes originally feared. In others words, passively Nice people want to avoid being criticized, but through passive behavior are likely to end up being criticized anyway.

If you are a passively nice person it's really important to make the distinction between being nice and passive and to challenge your underlying fears that drive you to behave in a passive manner. You can still be a nice person, but don't allow your behaviour to be driven predominately by the needs and wants of others. This is particularly important when you commit to doing something with another nice person and are asked to do something at the same time by someone you are scared to say 'no' to. In this case, you're likely to also choose the scary person and assume the nice person will be OK. Behaving in the exact manner you dislike in others.

Whilst there will always be times when it is necessary to put the needs of others in front of yours, during these times it's important to ensure you are being respected and appreciated. For example, placing boundaries around how your children should speak to you (showing their appreciation through words like please and thank-you).

Further, whilst being 'easy going' might be an energy you aspire to have, don't confuse it with being a pushover. It's fine to agree to things if you really don't mind, but if you're happy, at least seek clarification and ask if there is any opportunity to alter things more to your liking.

Aspire to be a nice person, but try not to aspire to be passive.

Rediscovering your true self

When you look back to your childhood, did you become the person you dreamed you could be? Did you take an even greater path, or did you settle for a life that you don't quite know how you ended up with?

Life takes you on many journeys and through many paths. Sometimes you may feel that you're traveling in a single direction, only to wake up years later and wonder how on earth you arrived at your current life. The reason this often happens is that people often fail to spend time learning about themselves and discovering who they really are. What they really desire in life. The other reason people tend to give up on their dreams is due to the desire to please others, or live up to a conceived societal ideal.

Each day, week, month and year provides you with an opportunity to rediscover who you really are and who you would like to be. This doesn't mean you have to walk out the door and start your life again, but more to start finding ways to bring your true personality, interests and desired lifestyle into your current world of existence.

One of the other issues you may have faced is lack of self confidence that you could reach your goals and desires. This lack may have been the result of internal self beliefs, or the beliefs of others or society at large. Regardless of its origin, poor self belief has the power to prevent you from pursuing your desires. Thus resulting in living half a life and ending up in a place you find unfulfilling.

Dramatic change can be terrifying, which is why gradual steps towards self discovery are recommended. You may need to read more, travel more, research more, speak up more, or listen more... In order to find yourself. It takes time, but it's worth it. Take time to think back to that inner child and her/his hopes and dreams. How did others in your life respond to your desires? How well received where your ideas? These reactions would certainly have played a part in either increasing or decreasing your self efficacy in your ability to transform your dreams into a reality.

Through introspection and meditation you find the quickest path to self discovery. Your passions may seem elaborate and fanciful to others, but all realized ideas where once just pipe dreams. When there is a big leap to take you from the here and now to your future goals, give yourself permission to make gradual changes whilst you remain in a more secure position. (Eg financially). This will also give you time to adjust to your new self discoveries.

If you are completely happy with your life - that's great. Just remember there is always room to dream big and succeed. Life is here to be lived, enjoyed and experienced.

You are the creator of your destiny so don't wait for a better time. Now is the time to start really living your life.

Happiness gained through enjoying the journey

From a very young age we are taught to aim high, look to the future and wait for happiness to arrive after we have achieved our goals. The consequence of thinking like this is that happiness is only ever short lived. When we reach these goals we are not taught the skills of appreciating and enjoying the pleasure of this success. Being future goal driven, we soon forget the successes we achieve (or forget the enjoyment we felt after achieving our goals). Our minds soon focus on the next thing we need to achieve in order to be happy. Then term "I'll be happy when..." Becomes all too familiar.

The problem with this type of thinking is that it's ingrained from a very young age. We are rewarded and encouraged for working really hard, achieving good grades, making the team, getting the partner and so on... However, these end points lend themselves to the search for new goals to fulfill our deeper need to achieve first - in order to find happiness.

As a result of happiness being attached to success, we often feel negative emotions such as depression and anxiety when we fail to reach the goals we set our for ourselves (or when we fail to meet others expectations). Thus, happiness becomes dependent on success.

What a difference a simple change in mindset could make!

Imagine the difference in your life if you could change your thinking to focus on the enjoyment of the present - the journey towards your achievements as well as the final success. Whilst it may take a little practice, changing your thinking simply takes dedication and persistence. The payoff to realizing how much happiness you have in your life right now (whilst simultaneously being excited about what the achievement of your goal will enhance in your life) is enormous.

According to the law of attraction, being in a positive state whilst traveling along the journey to achieve your goals will create a similar vibration and enhance the likelihood that you will achieve your goals. But more importantly, taking time to realize how great even small aspects of your life are right now gives you the opportunity to live your life, rather than waste it focussing continuously in the future and never really living in and enjoying the present moment.

A great way to start shifting your mindset is via making a mental list before going to bed every night of all the things you are happy about right now, such as:
- your physical body is alive and functioning
- your family (or certain members of it)
- your home (you have shelter, water & food)
- your mind (having the intelligence to create your own happiness)
- your job (you have the capacity to earn money)

This process is not about saying "I should just be satisfied with what I have". It's about acknowledging that despite your struggles, on balance you can find things to be happy about right now. You can then use these qualities to give you more strength and trust that you can and will achieve more in your life.

Accept your life and move on

We compare ourselves to others all the time. Sometimes you might find yourself thinking its not fair that things seem so easy for others and start to get angry/frustrated/down because certain things seem harder for you than they appear for others. Besides appreciating that everyone had their issues, it's important to reach a state of acceptance of the life you have been given. Then to pick yourself up and declare that you have a choice to change things. It might be tougher in that one area you want to change, but you can do it and it's so... Worth the effort. www.happylife.net.au

Change your focus this christmas

At Christmas is easy to focus on what's missing in your life - people that are no longer with you, opportunities that you've missed, or dreams that you haven't yet achieved. However, there is another story which is just as valid. The story of all the things you have achieved over the past year and all the people who have come into your life and have remained in your life as well - particularly those that love and support you unconditionally. It's easy to think... "that's not enough", because your focus is often future or past orientated. But don't discount these great things in your life.

How many people are you buying gifts for this holiday season? Why are you buying them gifts? What do they mean to you and how have they shown you how much you mean to them over the years?

They say that those who are given a disability in this life are the fortunate ones because they have the gift of love of life. They appreciate a lot more than others and are even said to be more enlightened spiritually as a result of this gift.

Take the opportunity this Christmas to put your desires in perspective. YES .... they may enhance parts of your life, but if you look closely you will see you have many wonderful things in your life RIGHT NOW that you might just be neglecting.